Simply Family

God Grant Me Serenity to Accept the Things I Cannot Change

2012-01-04T22:00:00.000-05:00

God grant me Serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The Courage to change the things I can
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

Thanksgiving 2011

I cannot even bear to write this, but writing is my healing, my processing, my outlet, so I will. On December 18, my beloved brother, Marty, died suddenly from heart failure. The earthquake that this has caused in my family and in his community is unimaginable. He was the rock; the caretaker and inspiration of literally, thousands of people, through his family, his pediatric career, his music, his running, his advocacy and his gentle nature, and we are all left bewildered and numb by the loss of such an amazing person.

I cannot change it. I cannot bring him back. It is so final. So awful. My heart aches for myself, my husband and my children, but also for my parents and sister, who are deeply scarred, and for my sister-in-law and her family who are trying to piece together a devastated life.

I cannot change it. We drove our family to Georgia for the funeral. We spent two days traveling down and two days back. The service was a beautiful tribute and was attended by about 1000 people. We are still recovering from the emotional and physical exhaustion of this difficult journey. In reality, we are recovering from a year of exhausting events, starting with the adjustment of our 7 year old daughter, Shanna, home from China on December 13 last year. It was a rocky and painful process for her, as she learned to trust that our love was real and permanent. That she was safe with us and that we would not leave her. The first six months were really tough and Eric & I were stretched, but Love Never Fails (as I learned in a workshop with Heather Forbes) and Love prevailed. Our daughter is thriving in every way. In February, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer. In May she came to live with us and we provided hospice care until she died in July. Her husband suffered, too, with Parkinson's and severe grief, requiring a change in living situation. Their house was sold in May and we cleaned it out by July. In late summer, my stepfather, who had gradually declined in health and independence since having a heart attack in April, moved into nursing care, which was both a blessing and a sorrow for my mother. He died in November, and now Marty has died in December, completing a full year of emotional and traumatic events. I cannot change it. I cannot change the impact of each of these events on the people I love.

So what CAN I do?

I can make sure my family is fed, both emotionally and physically. I can physically connect with them each day and put a nourishing dinner on the table each night.

I can keep order in my home and our routines. I can do the laundry, empty the dishwasher, keep the environment uncluttered so our brains can think. I can rely on the routines of our life, and forgo extras right now. I can keep it simple.

I can help my children make time for school work. I can sit quietly by them while they do what they need to do. I can help the little ones learn their sight words and their math facts.

I can be the buoy to my extended family. I can offer my home as a gathering place. I can support from afar through Skype and phone calls. I can encourage connections and I can applaud steps towards rebuilding independence. I can reflect healing.

I can pace myself. I have responsibilities outside our home. I have a business and clients to serve. I can return to them as I am ready, and not before. I can hope they wait for me. I can encourage them to seek other solutions if they cannot.

I can remember the Serenity Prayer. I can recite it over and over in my mind if I lay awake at night. I can work within my circle of concern (Steven Covey) and make a difference there.

I can appreciate the joy of life. I can be thankful for the blessings I have. I can stop and watch a flock of birds circling in unison in the sky and I can wonder at the beauty of the world.

Yes, things are difficult and I am strong. I am flexible and I won't break.

"It's going to be alright". Marty always said that to us and I can hear it now. It's going to be different but it's going to be alright. And because life cannot help but go on amongst the tough stuff, here are the photos of the last 9 weeks. When I see them all here together, I am amazed by the volume and depth of life reflected back to me.

Dinner with friends Lyn & Ryan. We won their offering at our church fantasy auction and they came and cooked us a delicious, authentic Mexican meal.

Here is the beautiful Flan that Ryan created.

And they even brought entertainment for the girls. Aren't they adorable?

November 2011

Sewing another 100 wishes quilt for Sofia, Megan's friend from her orphanage. The completion of an 18 month project and bittersweet because it was made without Marion.

Mary Alice made the cat a jacket and believe it or not, she likes it!

Mary Alice in the Geography Bee. Grandpa Jerry supporting behind.

Celebrating my 44th birthday and Shanna's first year Family/Adoption Day with Chinese at the Golden Duck

And cake afterwards at home, made by Mary Alice

Sofia, modeling the new quilt on her bed. Her smile is so radiant.

4:30 AM Thanksgiving Morning, on the way to the airport to go to Georgia.

Connecting with family.

So much love.

The Annual Family Photo, 2011

The Annual Cousin Photo, 2011

Mom with her 3 kids.

Shanna, enjoying every minute of her time at Uncle Marty's and Aunt Cindy's.

Eric has a chance to relax.

Pin the hat on the Turkey.

Total Exhaustion at the end of the day!

The last family photo with Marty in it.

Reading to Grandma.

Cooking the sauce and eggplant.

Fun with cousins.

and more cousins.

So much love.

Cindy, leading yoga on the platform.

Meeting up with some friends of Cindy's and Marty's, who are also adopted from China.

Beautiful, happy girls, all sharing a common bond.

Group activity.

Making the stuffed mushrooms.

Lots of snuggle time.

And music.

And smiles.

And more music.

And more snuggles.

Thanksgiving over, back home, a cookie decorating party with friends.

And more snuggles.

Mary Alice in the Spelling Bee.

Skyping with Shanna's teacher from her orphanage in China (Shantou). The teacher does not speak English, but the other woman does and helped us. Shanna no longer remembers her Chinese and even in English refused to say a word! She was very shy.

At Marty's funeral-- his loved ones.

His loving family celebrating his life. Wearing his favorite color, purple. Cindy is wearing the red dress he bought her to wear this year for the holidays. She wore it for him.

Back home again, celebrating with Aunt Janis

and Uncle Billy.

Good for the soul.

Grandpa Tom and Mary Alice making Sticky Buns together.

Skyping with Cindy and kids for Matthew's birthday on January 3rd. To the left of the computer is a photo collage of pictures of Marty, given to me by Mary Alice; a beautiful and touching gift, made completely on her own.

Finding joy amidst the sorrow.

And the crew on this side of the camera.

Megan, sporting a big smear of chocolate frosting on her forehead.

And my annual photo of my young man, now 17 years old!

Bye, Guy....

2011-11-17T10:47:00.001-05:00

I closed every conversation with him with those words. Even the last.

My stepfather since I was 11 years old, Guy offered me unconditional love, support and guidance. He was a calm influence and he instilled a quiet confidence that everything would be alright, no matter what. One of the most influential things he told me over and over was that "nothing is cast in concrete" and whenever I found myself in a tough situation, he encouraged me to consider my options and to make a change. He was an easily satisfied, content man, very similar to my dear Eric and his late father, Bud. All three, gentle souls. Guy died quietly, in his sleep at the age of 95, after a lengthy, gradual decline in mobility and health, while supported constantly by the vigilant ministry of my devoted mother, Judy.

Go in peace, Guy. Say hello to Marion for me.

November 2003

November 2004

April 2004

November 2004

November 2007

April 2010- 94th Birthday

November 2010

Halloween Fun 2011

2011-10-31T22:01:00.000-04:00

Little Red Riding Hood

A very NICE lion.

A darling mouse.

Fitting Personalities

Add in a Vampire friend and you have LOTS of fun!

A deviled egg

And a Monopoly. Very fun.

Counting the stash. A good night.

Fall Fun

2011-10-15T22:13:00.000-04:00

Happy 13th Birthday, Mary Alice!! So proud of the young lady you are.

Columbus Day was a beautiful day for the zoo.

Here the girls are playing in the boat on the "canal" on the pretend farm at the zoo. They just love it.

They were both very intrigued with the tree on the zoo playground and they wanted to climb it.

Shanna is determined to do it.

She is very proud of herself!

Here is some perspective. She probably felt like she was up SUPER high. In reality, not quite.

This video shows the typical dynamic that goes on all day, every day. Important work, important conversations, all in the context of mirroring and exploring the environment.

We are busy preparing a vegetable garden, with the help of a very enthusiastic older gentleman that I met at Lowes. He is really knowledgeable about everything and is guiding me step by step. We are all so excited to plant in the spring. Mary Alice is pounding in the stakes to level the beds. Eric is supporting. They built the frames together last weekend. They are each about 8'x3' with 2' in between.

Eric and Shanna, spreading the mulch over the weed barrier.

Megan was nearby, but not all that interested.

Shanna hung in there the whole time. It was really windy and cold, with slight rain coming down, but that didn't stop us!

This is a view of the whole garden from upstairs! So exciting!

Here is a closeup of one of the finished beds! The plants are strawberry, which are okay to plant now, compliments of my gardener friend, who grew them in his own garden and potted them up to share with Mary Alice, as soon as we told him of our interest. We are so lucky to have him to help us.

This may look like Minnie Mouse, but it is really a Lion in the making. The nose makes a roaring sound when pressed. We are sewing a sweatshirt out of orange felt for Shanna to wear over her jacket. Megan is going to be a Gray Mouse and looks equally as cute! Stay tuned for the finished costumes!

Shanna has been singing

2011-09-28T22:17:00.003-04:00

Row, row, row your goat, gently down the stream.
Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary. Hum hum hum, spaghetti...

Brought a big smile to my face.

Then, tonight, Daddy sneezed downstairs and I happened to be lying right next to her in bed, so I clearly heard her say "Bletchew". I laughed and said "Bless you; as in God Bless You". She laughed and said "Bletchew!" and we went back and forth a bit, laughing at the silly sounding words! She's cute.

Look at Grandpa Tom

2011-09-26T14:07:00.001-04:00

Today I got a cute surprise. Grandpa Tom rode over from his place to visit me!

Grandpa's New Bike. Go Grandpa!

Goodbye Grandpa! Come again!

We have been blessed with some very beautiful weather.

A nice day for a picnic.

Funny Conversations

2011-09-16T12:07:00.000-04:00

Megan (to Shanna): So, are you busy today?
Shanna: Yep, how 'bout you?
Megan spreads arms wide
Shanna: Big?
Megan spreads arms wider
Shanna: Bigger!!??
Megan spreads arms even wider
Shanna: So Big??? WOW! Lots of work! Busy everyday, every single day, too busy (big sigh)

Shanna (to Megan): Megan, my office near hospital. What's your office?
Megan: My office is near Wegman's
Shanna: I don't want to go to Wegman's. I go to hospital.

Mommy (to whoever is listening): Mary Alice had a big fly in her room last night.
Shanna: How 'bout me?
Mommy: You did not have a big fly in your room last night.
Shanna: Why?

Megan left her jacket on the bus (3rd day of school) and I found it in the bus garage "Lost and Fountain" as Shanna calls it.

While we were organizing the art table one day, Shanna asked to use the label maker to label the drawer with her colored pencils. She typed out "SHANNA'S PENCILS". I double checked her work and noticed that she inadvertently left out the "C" and the "L"...... :) Obviously, I fixed it before printing!

Shanna's language is growing everyday. I was telling her "Remember how you used to say "a neeny bit"? Now you say "A little bit"." She said "you mean when I was little?" :)

Everyday, Megan gets off the bus with a note and a scrawled name and phone number of a new friend that she wants to have a play date with! There are some problems in the recording.

It makes me smile. Every bit of it.

Just Catching Up

2011-09-16T11:46:00.000-04:00

At the cemetery

the cousins

Friends I hadn't seen in a very long time, and love very much.

Iris's son and grandson

The girls loved playing with him!

Visiting Grandpa at his new place

Family Day at Grandpa's

Love that hair

Shanna wanted to be a pretty princess

Megan asked to be a monster!

The caterpillars have come and gone. We have one last butterfly still here. He seems to be unable to fly yet, so he may be a foster pet. This caterpillar is doing a "Happy Dance".

This shows all of the many stages; The dark chrysalis is about to hatch. The lime green is just turning from caterpillar to chrysalis. The pale green have been hanging between 1-10 days. The caterpillar hanging upside down is forming his J. and the 3 other caterpillars are getting ready to J. The white/clear things are chrysalis' that have already hatched. An amazing amount of stages in about a 6"x7' space.

For some reason two chrysalis' fell off their hooks. Matthew is helping this one to be born! His chrysalis was on he bottom of the cage, so he needed some help cracking open the shell because he did not have the help of gravity pulling him out upside down.

This one did not want to leave Mary Alice. What a pretty hair clip.

Summer school fun- classroom teacher

Student Teacher

English Second Language Teacher

Classroom Assistant

English Second Language Assistant

Our wonderful Nanny!

Dropping Mary Alice off at camp!

Our friends, adopting Lorelei AnXiang from Shantou. She was a very dear friend of Shanna's. We keep in touch through Skype, although right now in the transition, Shanna can't speak Chinese and Lorelei's English is just starting, so there is a lot of giggling and "showing" precious belongings.

Here are some videos we made and sent to Lorelei AnXiang just before she came home from China with her parents: Shanna is "introducing" us to her.

She is a joyful child.

I know Misty. It's busy.

and last but certainly, not least, a slide show of Marion's life.

First Days of School

2011-09-09T15:21:00.000-04:00

Yummy! Made by Mary Alice

Getting back to routines, after such a tough summer. Although it's been more than a month, my heart is still raw. It was especially hard (for me) with the kids going back to school. Something Marion was always a part of, checking in to see how the first days went. Well, Marion, they went fine. There were joys and sorrows, things to be excited about and things to worry about, but all in all, everyone got where they needed to go and throughout the week, adjusted to the routine. Now it's the weekend and we will all gather together again to compare notes, do homework and play.

My girls.

How did she get so old?! 8th grade!

How did he? 11th grade!

The bus stop crowd. Boy those packs were heavy on the first day.

Full Circle of Life

2011-07-21T20:57:00.001-04:00

China, December 2010

It was with great sadness that we said good bye to our dear sweet Marion. She died this afternoon, in our home, in my arms. She was comfortable and died peacefully, surrounded by her husband, her children and her grandchildren, and her beloved dog. Please send up a prayer of hope and love for Marion's spirit. She will be greatly missed.

Donations in memory of Marion Dolan can be made to
Hospice of Buffalo
225 Como Park Blvd
Buffalo, NY 14240

Ever See Wipeout?

2011-07-13T14:27:00.000-04:00

It's a show on TV where challengers compete on an obstacle course in adverse conditions, like in water and freezing rain, while crazy things come at them and try to knock them off the course. Things like huge revolving water wheels that must be climbed and rotating spinning things that must be jumped over. You can watch a clip here if you don't know what I am talking about.

Eric and I feel like our life is a little like this. Day after day, obstacles and challenges come flying at us. Some predictable, some not, but all add up to dizzying chaos and sheer exhaustion. Yesterday was particularly difficult, what with the yogurt challenge, where the big vanilla yogurt fell out of the fridge and splurched onto the floor, landing on BOTH of Megan's sneakers and the hinges and underside of the fridge, during the 20 mins I had to give the girls lunch between their summer school programs. Or the ant challenge, where I noticed, while doing laundry that ants were dropping on my head, and upon investigation found about 50 huge ants which ran willy nilly when I picked up the cat food dishes which sit up on a shelf about the folding table (to stay out of the dog long nose) and scared me to death. And then there was the dog challenge, which happened on Monday night, where I awoke at 12:30am and could not find Whisper, who NEVER leaves Marion's side. She was not in the crate, not in Marion's bed, not on the couch or the chair. WHERE WAS SHE??? She must be outside. Look outside 10 mins (in my pjs), nothing. Wake up Matthew. Both of us out there, 45 mins, calling WHIS- PER (feeling silly) as the only way to say that loudly is to sound very sing songgy. WHIS-PER! Only slightly comforted by the fact that I had the foresight to put a new label on her tag that had our home address and phone over her old one. WHERE WAS SHE!?!? Finally, at 1:45am I get in the van and drive around the neighborhood, hoping no one calls the police to report a stalker in her pjs..... I come home, dejected, racked with guilt that I was the last one to let her out to pee. Matthew says "You Found Her???!!" I said, sadly "no...." He says "there she is!!" and points to the front hall. She had appeared out of nowhere!! WHERE WAS SHE??? I couldn't believe it. So we went back to bed.

All of this everyday craziness is happening amongst the daily tasks of caring for my mother-in-law, Marion is slipping away daily. It's hard to picture her living more than 3-6 weeks. She is sooo weak. She can walk a bit, but gets stuck in every chair she sits in. She is short of breath and tires with any exertion, even just moving on the bed. She loses her balance so easily that we can no longer leave her in a room alone. I am sleeping on the couch, as she wakes disoriented and forgets that she can't get up alone and might fall. I have lots of Hospice help, and Marion has dear friends who come and sit with her while I take care of things that need doing. Her sister is an angel, and comes every week from 2 hours away to help me with whatever is needed. She is amazing and I don't know what I would do without her. Eric's brother and his family joined us for a weekend and we worked non-stop emptying out their home which is sold and closing soon. I don't know how we would have done it with out them. They helped with Megan's 7th birthday party, which we celebrated joyously.

Marion is very peaceful and easy to take care of. She never complains. But it is so sad for all of us. There is oxygen, nebulizer treatments every 4 hours, medication at 7, 1, 7 and any other times she needs extra drops under her tongue for congestion, or morphine for shortness of breath. There is a host of walkers and masks and special equipment. Plus all the misc items that we have brought from their home, and are too precious or useful to be sold, but don't have a "home" yet to be put away, so sit in my living room, in the pathway into her dining room/bedroom or in the garage, waiting for distribution to others who are coming.

The kids are all doing pretty well. I told Megan that Marion will die someday, but haven't told Shanna yet. Megan got very quiet about that. I had previously told her that Marion was getting worse and wouldn't get better. Then I asked her what she thought it meant. She just said gramma is very sick and is getting worse. I said, yes, that's true, and soon her body won't be able to stay alive, so she will die. She was very quiet. I told her there was nothing we could do about that but love her and take care of her and help her to relax and feel safe. Megan got that. She is an amazing caregiver. We are so blessed with that girl. I need to tell Shanna soon. She is so young and fragile. She already was crying the other day and said that she does not want gramma to be sick; she wants her to be well. It will be difficult for Shanna to lose her. I am glad that all the children can see the dying process, so they have a chance to mourn while it happens and understand what I am doing and why. They each see us all caring for her, providing medication, food and comfort. They see the difficulty moving, using the toilet, the falls, the confusion. They see the sleeping, the massage and the sponge baths. They see the love. That really goes a long way.

Eric is good, too. He is strong, gentle, peaceful and calm. He is happy to be able to help his mom and thankful that we can take care of her here. He has been going non-stop, after work each day, coming home to hear the challenges of the day already faced and those of the evening yet to be faced.

Marion's husband has not been well, either. The suddenness of her illness caused him to experience great anxiety, which exacerbated other medical issues he had previously and resulted in hospitalizations for him. We love him so much and are trying to get him stability and an appropriate level of care. It has required time, effort, patience and love. We communicate with his daughter daily and are praying for a full recovery for him. Recently, he has been doing better and that gives us great hope.He has not been able to see Marion since May 30th, when we had Shanna's birthday party. We hope and pray he will be able to see her soon.

And amongst all of the above, we continue to enjoy life.

Megan and her teacher

Shanna & her teacher

Megan & friends at the Kindergarten Tea

Mary Alice earn a Spanish Award!

Megan at the farm

Helping Gramma with her face cream

Hanging with Whisper and Bunny

A visit from the Hospice Music Therapist

Visit to the Zoo- Gramma was able to go with us in her wheel chair two weeks ago, her last big outing.

The merry go round was the highlight of the zoo!

The quilt is FINISHED!

Out for our 21st Wedding Anniversary

The Artist creating Megan's Birthday cake!

The final masterpiece

Opening the card and gift from Gramma

Giving the quilt

It's awesome. Ian was so happy and touched.

Snuggling with Aunt Linda

Hanging with family.

Hiding from the thunderstorm. Matthew and Megan are the other lumps

Oh, yes, I forgot. The butterflies are back. We have 6 chrysalis, 3 caterpillars and 1 butterfly, hatched today. If you have never seen them, click here to read the story from last summer. Keep clicking on "newer posts" to follow their progress as they grow up. There are four posts. It's quite a documentary of their life cycle.

A Time for Everything

2011-06-09T09:05:00.002-04:00

Right now, I am sitting at the Dodge Dealer, waiting for my car to be fixed. It is a precious hour or two of captivity. I cannot go anywhere or do anything else. I have a three hour window of free internet access while I wait, and I am taking full advantage of it. Somehow there is time for everything.

Playing babies is a big activity in our house. Megan & Shanna switch roles and enjoy playing all the time. Shanna particularly enjoys being a baby and it spills over into every day life. Life with Shanna is not always smooth. She has difficulty with her regulating her emotions, and while she is truly happy much of the time, as can be seen in her pictures, underneath is a very fragile little person, whose sunny outlook is peppered with a conflicted need to trust deeply and at the same time control at all costs. When pressured by a request, expectation or limit, by myself, Eric or her siblings, she often resists and with very little provocation can escalate the issue to monumental proportions, sometimes hurting herself, others or things. We have had to be really proactive and patient to head off meltdowns and understand the anxiety behind her behaviors. We think at the heart of it all is her horrifying fear that somehow we will disappear and her life will change again. We try to assure her in every way possible that she is safe and loved. Things are improving slowly and she is learning to regulate her emotions and reactions with our guidance and love. At school, she is totally engaged and happy. She is a hard worker and is learning so quickly. She can already read about 40 sight words and can write many sight words and use invented spelling. Her English language is awesome and incredible. We cannot believe the rate at which she has learned to communicate. She qualified for OT and PT services at school through a 504 plan and she LOVES all of her teachers and therapists. We made a picture schedule like Megan's to show what services she has which days and she checks it every night to see what's on the agenda the next day.

On Easter, Megan is enjoying her enormous turkey leg! She and Shanna each got one and finished every last morsel!

Easter Dinner

Hanging with Misty

Playing with the swing set box!

Shanna's friend from Shantou was brought home by her family in May. We sent these pictures along with the family to another friend who will be coming home in August or so. Shanna has such a big family that she had to take 3 pages to fit us all in!

I really love how she has drawn all of our hair!!

Our nephew, Ian, lives in PA and is graduating this month. This is from the senior prom. He & Claire are on the far right, looking beautiful.

Ian & Claire

I went with Megan & Shanna to the Zoo on a school field trip.

In early spring, improvements were made to the bird house.

Shanna got a haircut.

She is very proud of it. We are trying to grow out some of the layers and give her a more girlish look. She would like it long like Megan.

Mother's Day, with all my kids. Love them so much!

Time to go to the 7th grade dance.

Time for hugs.

And more hugs.

And then about 2-3 weeks ago, we realized that Eric's mom was acutely ill. She had been through a series of radiation treatments on her cancer, and the radiation left her weak and unable to care for herself. We don't really know what happened, but for some reason her condition worsened to the point that neither she nor her husband could provide the care she needed. So late May, Eric & I made the decision that we would bring her to our home so that we could care for her. We moved our dining room furniture to our family room, and made our dining room into a room for her.

The girls see this as a grand adventure and have been so helpful in every way, getting Grandma settled. I found a wonderful mother's helper to come after school everyday and stay until dinner time. She helps with the girls, with household task and with dinner. I wish she could move in!!

It's turned into a comfortable spot for Marion and a gathering spot for the family.

The first morning I came downstairs to find Megan in bed with Gramma and helping her make her bed go up and down, and up and down, and up and down..... and helpfully showing her all the things out the window.

"C M O S T U" said Megan to Shanna.
"Do you know what that spells, Shanna?"
"No, Megan. What it spells?"
"Blood Test!"......
Since we have had a parade of Hospice nurses and workers in and out of the house, Megan & Shanna have developed excellent doctor skills and a well stocked kit, supplied by the nurses. Gramma has had countless blood tests, temperature takings and medications supplied by these helpful young ladies, named Dr. Kim and Dr. Susie. Dr. Kim (Megan) informed us that boys cannot be doctors, so that's that! Gramma is an amazing trooper throughout all of this.

And in the meantime, Grandpa Tom is struggling as well. He has Parkinson's and has had trouble caring for his health needs, now that Marion is not home. We went to visit him where he is in a short term nursing care facility while he decides what is next for him. Megan and Shanna are checking out the bed to see if it works like Gramma's.

Marion & Tom, June 2011

June 2011

After two weeks of resting, Marion is doing much better. Her appetite is good, and her spirits are lifted by all the activity in the house. She is enjoying time with the kids and reading, and sewing. Her strength is limited, so we do what we can and she rests a lot. I am happy when she says she is bored, as I know that means she is doing pretty well. She has lots of visits from friends.

Marion's dog, Whisper

And we can't forget to mention Whisper, who joined us a few days after Marion did. She is a very sweet dog, who WORSHIPS the ground that Marion walks on. When they are separated, Whisper wanders the house looking for her. She sleeps under the blankets with Marion and I can't tell who is dog and who is woman.

Shanna & Ziggy the Piggy from Kindergarten

When we were matched with Shanna, her records indicated that she would turn 10 in March. We found this to be totally discrepant from what our observations and experience with her was. When we met her and saw her next to Megan, we saw two peas in a pod. They were on par in every way. So we started to question the validity of her birth date. She was initially placed into the 2nd grade, despite her chronological age fitting into 4th grade. Though she loved and was loved by her teacher and classmates, it became really clear that the concepts, not just the language were simply way over her head. We pursued assessments through the school in all areas (with an interpreter) and also consulted with our pediatrician and dentist. All results, including a bone age test, indicated that she was physically and emotionally functioning like a 6-7 year old girl. So we requested that she be moved to Kindergarten, like Megan, and began pursuing a change in her birth date. I contacted the adoption court in our city and was told what papers to fill out and submit. I did so, and a few weeks later her birthday was officially changed to May 30, 2004. So we celebrated Shanna's 7th birthday on Memorial Day. She was so thrilled to learn her birthday (she knew neither her age nor her birth date) and LOVED her birthday party with the cake and presents. On July 3rd, Megan will turn 7 too. And yes, now we really have Twins.

The boys helping get ready for Shanna's party.

Matthew's friend, Jess.

Shanna on her 7th birthday.

My nephew Alex and his friend, Hannah.

Aunt Sue & Shanna. I took other pictures with the cupboard closed, but none turned out as good as this one...so, too bad.

Happy Girls

Bubble Fun.

Matthew & Eric going to the Orchestra Banquet

When I read all of this, I honestly cannot believe how there is time for everything. I also cannot believe that 6 months have gone by since our trip to China to adopt Shanna. We took these pictures below for our 6 month post placement visit with our social worker, next Tuesday. They specifically want one picture with the whole family. It is so difficult to get everyone, in the same spot at the same time, clean, dressed, smiling...... you get the idea. It took several tries, and although a little blurry, this is the real thing: our family.

3 YEARS ago (yesterday)...

2011-05-13T17:02:00.000-04:00

We met Megan for the first time.

Read about it here.

This is the first picture we saw of her on a list of waiting children. I loved that curious gleam in her eyes.

And another received when we viewed her file. We were smitten.


And we still are, even more deeply than imaginable.

Love you so much, Megan. Happy Family Day.

Joy and Sorrow

2011-03-31T12:03:00.002-04:00

"Joy and sorrow are inseparable. . . together they come and when one sits alone with you . . remember that the other is asleep upon your bed."
— Khalil Gibran

We have had our share of joys. I post often about them. We have been blessed with so many wonderful things in our lives. The girls bring unbridled laughter into each day. For example, this conversation overheard at bedtime between the girls in their room:

Shanna: My baby's leg hurts.
Megan: My baby's leg hurts, too.
Shanna: No. Your baby's TUMMY hurts. My baby's LEG hurts.
Megan: (slight pause) So...... can your baby walk- or what?
Shanna: No. My baby's leg is broken.
Megan: Ohhhh.

These conversations go on ALL day and sometimes into the night!! We smile around corners as they ponder the ways of the world.

Another conversation on the road (Megan- looking at the addresses on a plaza of buildings while we are stopped at a red light):

Megan: Look, Shanna! Number 1!
Shanna: Number 1, Megan???
Megan: Yes, Number 1!
Shanna: How 'bout Number 2, Megan?
Megan: (sadly) No, no Number 2.
Shanna: How 'bout 3?
Megan: No, no 3.
Shanna: How about 4 or 5?
Megan: No, Shanna. Just number 1 and number 7!
Shanna: Oh! Number 7! Wow, Megan!

Now, who wouldn't laugh at that?

They are like two peas in a pod and their love affair grows daily. Two days ago marked the 4th month of us meeting Shanna for the first time. They love to wear matching outfits and do the same things. Sometimes, one wants to be different and we encourage them that "that's okay!"

Painting time!

Big hugs!

I ordered another baby carrier for Megan and she was thrilled!

They are working on using their knives properly. Switching hands seems so needless to them! We are making great progress!

They are like puppies, always curled up together.

Cindy, Look! Yoga! Shanna showed us these moves.

She told me one of her friends from Shantou does this (Teri--It's Emily)!

In love with my sister.

So now for the sorrow, which apparently was asleep on our bed.

Marion, my sweet mother in law has been diagnosed with cancer. It is devastating news. Apparently, growing silently in her lungs and moved to her brain. The doctors are very hopeful and she is receiving aggressive radiation and drug therapy. She is the epitome of a Cancer Warrior; facing it head on with a positive attitude and a brave mindset. As she does with everything in her life, she does not feel sorry for herself, but rather takes action. She becomes informed and does what it takes to succeed. I am praying everyday that the medication does its work and that she heals. She is tired from her treatments, but she is taking care of herself. We love her so much.

She & Tom came for dinner last weekend.

Megan is sporting Gramma's new wig.

Shanna & Ye Ye Grandpa Tom

We think Gramma looks great in her wig!

I saved a few miscellaneous pictures so that I don't end on a sorrow:

This is Shanna's ESL Teacher

This is her 2nd grade teacher. Right now she is bridging between Kindergarten and 2nd grade.

Remember the 100 good wishes quilts we made for the girls? Well, we are doing another one for Sofia Bao, Megan's friend/sister from her orphanage. I am sewing a few minutes at time every few days/weeks and it's coming along nicely. I think the fabrics are so pretty.

FYI- this is a LONG post :)

2011-03-12T10:58:00.000-05:00

and it took me two days to write.

"Me, too!" Shanna says this all the time. She wants to eat it, too; go there, too; have it, too; read it, too; and wear it, too. Especially wear it, too. She loves to match Megan, and the feeling is mutual. If one wears a dress, the other must, too, if one wears blue socks, the other must, too. Even if the matching article is covered up, it's okay, as long as it is there. Their relationship is growing deeper everyday. They are learning to play together more, rather than parallel, and their favorite thing to do is pretend to be baby and mother or doctor and take care of each other, easily switching roles. It's very cute. They take time to set up their environment (in the newly finished playroom), with tents and beds on the floor.

The playroom

One day, last week, I heard them talking:

Megan: on her way up from the basement, yelling down to Shanna as she closes the door: "Shanna, I will get the cushion, OK?"

Shanna: "OK, Megan"

Megan: coming back downstairs from the bedroom and yelling down to Shanna again "Shanna, I think I need some help with the cushion."

Hmmmm.......They both disappear upstairs.

Megan: yelling down to me in the kitchen "Mom, I think I need some help"

Shanna: yelling, too "Mom, Megan needs some help"

I go up to investigate, bracing a little for what I might find.

Mommy: "Oh!!! Wow!!!" as I digest the fact that Shanna's (extra deep) mattress has been completely removed from her bed, top sheet and comforters discarded nearby, and is now lying perpendicular to the beds on the floor and taking up every available floor space in the room!!! "You were taking the MATTRESS down to the basement????!!!!!!" Wow.........you never know what they are up to. I called Matthew to help me put it back and I tried to explain that the bed needed to stay upstairs. They were a little disappointed about that.

Last week, Megan and Shanna were doing some writing, a constant favorite activity. Megan explained what she was writing to me. "These are the rules. Chapter 1: Don't cut your hair yourself (see this post and this post-notice the bangs). Chapter 2: Don't get glue in your hair. Chapter 3. Don't paint your hair". I told her those were excellent rules.

Shanna's sayings, beside "Me, too" include "Hi Guys", "A neeny bit", "Megan, off light, off door" (referring to the basement). We are happy to say that she is now starting to refer to herself in the first person, rather than the 3rd and is saying with regularity "I am cold", "I am hungry", "I am hot", "I am tired".

Things continue to be very busy around here. Matthew has started lacrosse, Mary Alice will be starting her riding and the girls' Chinese Dance lessons started last week.

Shanna's school finished up her evaluation and she will begin receiving OT and PT services, soon. She scored quite low on things related to sensory issues (sensitivity to noise, touch and temperature), some balance issues, gross motor movement and strength, and some visual motor integration skills. We are so thankful that she will get the help she needs.

Baking sourdough bread with Mommy. This is my first attempt at baking it from scratch. I made the starter and everything. With high hopes......

The finished product! Although it looks great, it was a lot of work, dense as could be, and destined to be croutons......The girls, however, thoroughly enjoyed the floury mess it made!!

Fun with Shaving Cream! It got a little messy after this, as the videos show....
They are only about 12 secs each.

I think this one is so funny.

Mr. Bear was here for a visit during the week of school vacation, so he had lots of fun.

We had a bring your own baby playdate.....

And Matthew's friend (on right) returned from Maine, where he moved several years ago, for a week to stay with us and other friends in the neighborhood. The boys have been close friends since they were in 2nd grade.

The girls never miss an opportunity for a photo.

Then we packed up for an overnight trip to an indoor waterpark.

The weather outside looked like this.....

Inside, it was 84 degrees.

There was lots of time for hugs.

Even the babies had a great time.

This is just weird. I think Shanna took it.

Story hour- very crowded.

More hugs.

and MORE hugs!

This was a fun activity.

Mary Alice helped them build their boxes.

Fun!

Proud Mamas

Love my sister

And this is the first time these two have been so close!

Last Saturday, we had a potluck dinner for about 25 people from our church. We had a great time.


And a last minute, surprise visit from Eric's brother and his family. The cousins had not yet met Shanna, and it was wonderful to see them all and be together. Ian and Matthew are only two years apart!

Lounging around, bonding over the Wii

Playing Wii Jeapordy

Playing a game together on Itouch

Snuggling with Gramma

The whole family.

This morning, first Megan trudged downstairs and enjoyed my lap for about 20 minutes, then Shanna came down and said "Me, too" so we made room.

Then two minutes later, Misty said "Me, too". Megan was feeling a little put out.
As for me, I was having trouble breathing, but enjoying it too much to care.

A Surprising Discovery

2011-02-18T10:51:00.000-05:00

In a funny twist of fate (encouraged by a comment that my Dad made about Megan holding her papers so close to read), I had both girls' eyesight tested Wednesday.

Ironically, Megan DID NOT need glasses (Dr. -who is also their dance teacher and loved by both - said she sees perfectly, just holds it close and slouches out of habit). However, Shanna DID need glasses. Dr. immediately found an astigmatism, quite pronounced in her left eye, which apparently Shanna was using very little to see!! She never exhibited any symptoms of a problem and never said anything was wrong. She probably thought everyone sees that way!

So, 2 days later, she has new glasses and is going around saying "I can see, I can see!!"

WOW. And really, it was just an afterthought on my part to have her checked, since the Dr. could fit her in!!!

Unfortunately, this was discovered in the MIDDLE of the assessments by the school district, so the impact on the overall testing is quite unknown. Just added to the many facets of Shanna.

It was hard to find a pair that did not overwhelm her face, but these rectangle rimless seemed just right. She is SO proud and excited about her glasses. She is very careful with them and keeps them on all the time. I can hear my grandma saying "Oh boy, what a girl!"

Life here is never dull!

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T13:54:00.000-05:00

We celebrated at Friendly's! Mary Alice & I shared this!! MMMMM

Shanna loves her Bing Ching Ling!!!

and an update on Lilly: She is packing up to go home!! She has made a remarkable recovery and will be discharged today!! Congratulations to her family!

Keeping Busy

2011-02-11T14:28:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, Megan & Shanna had their first dance class.

This one was a private lesson so the teacher could get to know them.

They had a wonderful time. The classes with everyone do not start until March. The girls can't wait.

Shanna was in need of a good haircut to even out the many layers and lengths she had.

She, however, did not agree.

Nephew, Benn, a hair stylist, gave her a nicely shaped cut. We love it long, but as Benn explained, it needed to be cut in order to grow out properly. Shanna really wants to have her hair long, like her sisters. I think she looks cute with it short, too!

After! And happy again.


This is a valentine Megan made for her friend. She has written many words at the top. It says "I love old toys school I can." The two tall things on the side are flowers.

Shanna made this picture for her friend, who gave her a bag of valentine treats. She is so extra special sweet; she comes home bursting with the story of "Flora! Food! Backpack! Share! Shanna!" then she ceremoniously and seriously divides it up among me and her siblings. The cellophane heart bag was empty and torn, but she saved it to show Daddy when he came home, before she capriciously tossed it in the garbage.

Finally! My basement is painted and the carpet is in!! Of course, now I have to wait for Eric and Matthew to bring all the stuff back from the other side (the workshop side). I cannot even get in the door there. My Fung Shui is all messed up!!!

This is the beautiful closet Eric made me. It still needs shelves and doors...........

Boy, babies are loved in our house. Megan is learning by Shanna's example to care for her babies and give them lots of love.

But none so much as this one. Baby gets carried everywhere. Do you know how much longer it takes to do EVERYTHING with one hand?? I didn't, until now. Again, Shanna is so funny--She snuggled in bed with me yesterday morning (of course, Baby, too) and said "Oh! Shanna forgot! Feed Baby dinner!!!" Then she dissolved in squeals of laughter. Well, there was some maternal guilt there, but mostly just giggles. I assured her that Baby understood that mommies get busy sometimes and that if she has really been all that hungry she would have told her.

Shanna's language is growing by leaps and bounds. She already is saying complete sentences and questions such as "Did you make that?" and "Megan, that is so beautiful"! She told me yesterday "Mom, Dad, I drew you a picture." all of which makes it really easy to enjoy talking to her about lots of things. For more complicated ideas, and when she gets excited, it can be very difficult for me to understand what she says. She is talking about such a variety now, and using so many words in the same sentence. The words are often not the exact word we would use, and they are all mixed up in order, which sometimes changes the meaning. Sometimes Megan sums it up by saying "Shanna, we don't understand what you are trying to say." Which is also pretty darn cute.

My little friend Lilly is still struggling to recover from her open heart surgery. Her heart is beating well and she is off the breathing tubes, but she has not slept since the surgery Wednesday more than a few short naps, and she stops breathing when she falls asleep, which sends alarms and doctors running. Please continue to think of her and her family, going through so much.

And the happiest of news, Sweet little AnXiang (10 years old--and on the far left), Shanna's friend from Shantou, has a family adopting her!! I am so excited for AnXiang and her family. She will have a 12 year old brother and will live with him and her mom & dad in South Carolina! Hopefully, they will be able to travel to get her by the summer. Ji Ying (8 years old--and on the far right), another good friend, also has a family and will hopefully go home in May to her brother, two sisters and mom & dad in Oklahoma. It is so wonderful to be able to share the journeys and keep in touch with these precious friends of Shanna's.

I love this picture of Ji Ying and Shanna!

This is Shanna with Emily (I think she is 6 now, previously Li Huang), who was adopted from Shantou to a family Arkansas. Emily's mom & I have been helping the girls Skype with each other and they have had "playdates" where each plays with her toys and "shows" the other. Emily is very talkative in English, having been home since July, but Shanna is a little shyer. I thought they would want to talk in their dialect, but nope! Just English. The internet, although it has its drawbacks, is an amazing thing.

Update on Lilly

2011-02-09T13:55:00.000-05:00

Sweet Lilly has made it through her surgery, her heart has been repaired and is once again beating on it's own, with out machines. She is in recovery and her parents are rejoicing. I am just awed at the miracle of adoption, as Lilly's life was literally saved by her parents. Congratulations, Lilly!

Good Wishes for Lilly

2011-02-09T09:24:00.000-05:00

This sweet little girl was adopted during the same week that Shanna was. We met her family in Guangzhou and went to Lilly's 3rd birthday party in the hotel. Lilly was not strong or well looking when they met her, and on adoption day, they learned that Lilly had heart problems of an undefined magnitude. Since they arrived in the US they have had almost daily consultations with specialists and numerous challenges to keep her healthy. They learned that she has very serious heart defects that need immediate correction. This morning she is undergoing surgery to repair her heart and her family is anxiously waiting for their angel to be done. Please say a silent wish that she will heal quickly under her doctors' capable and loving hands as they do their work on her tiny heart.

The Beauty of the Snow Begins with a Single Flake

2011-01-30T14:16:00.001-05:00

Many flakes, compounded together to make bigger and better. This igloo began to take shape in the early afternoon on a day off from school during exam week, and continued to grow into the hours of darkness.

It is being totally enjoyed by Shanna!


And is large enough inside for the whole family and some guests!!

Collecting ice & icicles. The one Matthew is holding measures to the tip of my nose!!!

Oh, the joys of snow abound!

So Fun!!

2011-01-16T16:21:00.001-05:00

Next week, the girls are going to take a Chinese Dance class. The excitement built to unbearable levels as we stopped at Walmart after church today and purchased the new outfits!! Here are some samples of the celebration!

(The videos are each under 14 seconds or so)

One Month Home!

2011-01-12T11:11:00.001-05:00

Yesterday marks the first month home with Shanna. It's hard to believe it all happened.

As Anne of Green Gables said to Diana "I've had a splendid time," she concluded happily, "and I feel that it marks an epoch in my life. But the best of it all was the coming home."

Going to China twice in three years and bringing home two beautiful daughters, who otherwise may not have known family, is a goal that I am so grateful I have had the fortune to accomplish. It was not one of those goals that was in my awareness, when I imagined out my life in high school, as Anne of Green Gables also wisely said; “When I left Queen's my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it for many a milestone. Now there is a bend in it. I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does. It has a fascination of its own, that bend, Marilla. I wonder how the road beyond it goes--what there is of green glory and soft, checkered light and shadows--what new landscapes--what new beauties--what curves and hills and valleys further on."

That bend has been good for me. It has squished me and molded me in a way I thought not possible. It was a HUGE fear to me as a young adult to travel by air. I was overcome with grief after the trauma of September 11th and thought I could never fly again, let alone trust the world to heal itself. But as Anne said again, in Anne of Avonlea, "That is one good thing about this world. . .there are always sure to be more springs."

And more springs there were. I listened to my heart, which was telling me that working full-time was draining my energy away from my family and leaving little for them, let alone, me. I listened to my heart, and with the support of Eric, quit my job of 16 years, and stayed home. During that time, I started a part time organizing business and felt the stirrings in my heart for another child. Through a variety of twists and turns, thoughts and emotions, adoption became the clear path. Two years later, we we blessed to welcome Megan into our arms. Life was busy and full, then another two years later, this past January 2010, I felt the familiar stirring in my heart again, for one more child. 10 months later, we welcomed Shanna into our arms.

Is it difficult? Yes. Expensive? Of course. Worth it? Absolutely.

Each and every one of our children is different and amazing in their own right. That they love each other deeply is obvious. They stretch and challenge each other. They argue, they play, they share; time, space, belongings, food, parents. The older kids gain insight from watching the younger work through their issues. They learn about the long lasting and sometimes elusive effects on young minds and hearts when they live in institutions, without adequate early care. They sympathize and they forgive. They uplift and they love unconditionally.

Most of the time, Shanna is happy, as you see in the pictures and videos. But, not unexpectedly, Shanna grieves and we patiently wait and love her. It's hard, as it is never the same trigger twice. A few nights ago was the biggest outburst we had seen yet, over a minor verbal correction in her behavior. Yet, through all the crying and screaming (and some scratching and kicking) she never, ever let go of her precious Bitty Baby, which certainly did not escape our attention. Throughout it all, Eric (who was handling it, as he was the "corrector" that time) was so patient and loving. He just kept her in a safe place and said "We love you Shanna, even when you cry. We love you Shanna, even when you are mad. When you are ready, we will hold you". Finally, exhausted, sweating, she allowed us to comfort her. I felt that a big pain had been released, like a volcano. It seems that every time an eruption happens, she heals a little bit and trusts a little more. I can't help but think that those feelings are so scary to her, and that underneath it all she thinks that if we correct her, it means we don't love her. Which, of course, couldn't be farther from the truth. But I don't think she knows that....yet.

Meanwhile, Megan, who has certainly suffered in her own right some emotional setbacks due to all these changes, and who had been very sad prior to this meltdown for another personal reason, sprang into action after Shanna calmed down. She ran to the bathroom for tissues and washcloths and washcloths wrapped in tissues, and dabbed and mopped up Shanna, blowing her nose and murmuring "We love you, Shanna" over and over. It was impossible not to smile at all that love. And of course, Shanna drank it all in like a sponge.

So, as Anne says, it marks an epoch in my life. And I enjoyed it thoroughly, but the best part of it is the coming home!!

Grandpa Tom and Shanna

Grandpa Tom & Gramma Marion

Gramma & Megan. You will notice they are not all in the same picture. They were, I just took about 6 shots to get various people to smile at the right time. Turns out the only way I could get good pictures is to split them all up. Imagine them together!

Playing with the precious Babies, both of whom are named Baby. There is Megan's Baby and Shanna's Baby. And we have to be quiet a lot, because "Baby is suhleeping".

and this is just a typical moment in time at our house. :)

PS: For anyone interested, the Anne Books are wonderful. Anne, herself, is an orphan, adopted by Marilla and Matthew Cuthbert at the tender age of 11. Her enthusiasm for life is both inspirational and uplifting. Here they are online- I downloaded all Lucy Maud Montgomery's 100+works to my (Dad's {hug}) Kindle for $.99 from Amazon

Here are links to the full text of the first two books through Project Gutenberg, a resource of free books in the public domain. Happy Reading.

Anne of Green Gables
Anne of Avonlea

Holiday Cheer

2011-01-04T22:20:00.001-05:00

Getting the house ready for Santa

Shanna drew this interesting picture on her new dry erase board; an unhappy flower inside a happy flower. I think that is how she feels sometimes. I wondered about all the Chinese writing around the border.

More interesting writing. On this one the writing is vertical.

Playdate with Megan's friend.


Shanna's food choices are ever expanding. She now will eat wheatgerm, blueberries and raw carrots! We even had burritos with guacamole for dinner and she loved it!

The girls entertained us with some tunes.

Some upbeat:
(Careful - loud. You may want to turn the volume down!)

Some more mellow:

We had lots of fun on Christmas Eve at Gramma Marion & Grandpa Tom's, with Aunt Kate and Daniel, and Uncle Terry.

Gramma gave the girls these cool crayola dry erase boards that they can put any kind of paper into, beneath the clear cover. The are great for tracing, especially practicing writing numbers and letters.

Everyone loved them.

Christmas morning was a big hit. We kept it low on the gifts, so it was a mellow morning.

Misty's favorite spot during the holidays!

Opening the "big" gift; a Playmobil Dollhouse

Fun with Aunt Shelly

Baking time with Uncle Billy and Aunt Janis

Mary Alice baked all these amazing kinds of cookies.

Fun with special friends on New Years Eve.

The kids are getting older, but still have fun!

Shanna loves to play the piano.

Then came Shanna's first day of school yesterday. She absolutely, unconditionally, loves school. She told me "Teacher, Shanna, I love you", which translates to Shanna loves teacher!! She is so cute. Her teacher is awesome and has it all together. She made her a little book with all her classmates photos and names and Shanna brought it home today and shared it with each one of us. She is so proud of herself. She is going to do so well. The friend in the picture lives behind us and is also in 2nd grade. They go to art, gym and music together. Oh, and Shanna loves riding the bus and buying lunch!

And on the same day, my boy turned 16! He had a busy day with school and math class at night, so we decided to pretend that it was his birthday today instead.

So Mary Alice baked a delicious cake (what would I do without her?)

Matthew took some artsy pictures.

And we celebrated with our family.

(If you want to see this photo larger, just double click it.)
Slowly and surely, I am getting things done, despite the challenges along the way (like losing the camera for 5 days-with the Christmas photos on it- and finally Megan remembering she put in "in my round jewelry box in my closet".....) and navigating the various mood swings of 6 people. I am happy to have a holiday card mailed out and food in the fridge (and that the freezer works again-thanks, Eric) and clean laundry in the closets. I am grateful for my health and Eric's (and that his back feels better) and for all the blessings in our life. I think things will settle down now into a normal routine.....maybe.

How Do You Eat an Elephant? One Bite at a Time....

2010-12-22T17:29:00.000-05:00

That's what I have been doing, each day, one bite at a time. That usually means making sure everyone has food, clean clothing, medicine, and is prepared for school. We have also tried to fold in some seasonal fun, such as putting up the tree and finalizing holiday shopping. But really, it has been a survival mode, and I am amazed at how tiring the jet lag really was. It is just now that I am starting to feel that I do not need to go to bed as soon as the girls go to bed at 8pm, which is what I have been doing since we got home.

Everyone is doing just great. We each have had some emotional ups and downs, but overall, we have settled into our routines with ease and positive attitudes. Shanna is an easy child to love and she tells everyone who speaks to her in Mandarin, that she loves each one of us. She has had a few occasions of tears, but it is mostly around wanting to do things her way, in her own time, or a barrier because of frustration and language limitations. She enjoys everything we do, whether it is shopping or cooking or playing, and she really enjoys helping, especially with washing dishes or vegetables. The girls are constantly playing together and are so cute to watch. Shanna's language improves every day and she says many things in a sing-song voice. "Goooood Mornnning, Mamma"! With her brilliant smile.

This is just after we got home, Jasmine and Shanna snuggling. Shanna calls her "Jot-meow"!

For several days, Shanna was going around saying "me louw shoe" over and over. We had no idea what that meant until the gerbils came home from the friends who were watching them. Then she ran happily over to them and said "Me louw shoe!!!!!" with a big smile on her face. Matthew looked it up on the internet and found that "louw shoe" means Little mouse and "me louw shoe" means "Mickey Mouse"! So funny.

Some friends came over with a special pink princess laptop for Shanna and the girls enjoyed back-to-back computing, just like Eric & me in China.

We have had lots of snow, and many opportunities for outdoor fun.

We have gone on lots of doctor appointments. This is the first visit to the dentist. Unfortunately, not the last, but of course, I knew that. She was very cooperative.

Also, she was so great during her blood test. She just stuck out her arm while they took about 8-10 vials of blood and never complained once. This was all routine testing to see what vaccines she needs and turns out she does not need too much else. Results show that she is very healthy and well.

Mary Alice was in the Spelling Bee this past week, and did great, getting into the final elimination round. Matthew had a holiday orchestra concert, which we always enjoy. We had trouble deciding who to take, thinking Mary Alice could stay with Megan and Shanna would go with us, only to have an enormous protest from Megan, so ultimately we all went, and then both girls fell asleep in the first five minutes. Matthew's group played last, and although it was a lovely concert, we were very tired!!

We had yet another adoption in the family. Megan had a Bitty Baby that Shanna had taken a deep liking to, and I mentioned this to my dear friend, Michele, who mentioned it to her dear daughter, who so generously offered to allow Shanna to adopt her Bitty! She was delivered with a very easy paperwork process, the next day! Along with clothes, a front pack carrier, a tricycle and a bunk bed!!! Wow! We are so grateful and the girls love their babies. There was even one night where Shanna slept strapped in with Bitty.......

The cats have handled the changes with unruffled fur.

Shanna is really good with her chopsticks. I am thinking that I will need to send them to school with her!! She is broadening out her tastes little by little. She enjoys a good Sunbutter and jelly sandwich, and has sampled raw carrots and mozzerella cheese sticks, and even has had a few glasses of milk, with chocolate, all of which are staples in our house.

Megan is a little more clingy than usual, but overall, has been such a good little sister. She shares with Shanna and helps her all the time.

Shanna is so gentle with "Xiao mao" (She-ow and mao both rhyme with cow and means little cat)

Shanna loves to do puzzles and she is quite good at them. She concentrates a long time and does not get frustrated. This one was 5 feet long. She did it without help.

More snow fun. Those cute little bee mittens were a gift from her nanny, in her backpack. They are perfect for car rides and school.

We had so much snow, so the girls have played outside. It takes 15 mins to get on and 15 mins to get off........They did play quite a while though. I had to call them to come in!

I don't know if you can see the debris in the background, but I am living with it for now, as there are so many more important things to attend to, like the sweet girl in front of the debris!

We had two successful visits to school, so far, once to Megan's classroom and again to meet with all the school staff that will determine her placement. They had a Mandarin interpreter talk with Shanna, and look at her photo album from Shantou. This really helped break the ice and she chattered happily with her. The school has a wonderful ESL teacher who is going to help Shanna learn English, and be her primary teacher of Reading and Writing. After they get to know her a little while they will assess her for any other services she may need. We have decided to try her in 2nd grade and see how she does. Shanna is SO excited to go to school and has asked me every day, many times, if "Shanna School???" She will start after vacation.

So, one bite at a time, the Elephant is being eaten. It is a big one, and Yes, the basement is still torn up and, Yes, I just moved everything upstairs to the craft room to make room for the tree. No, I haven't yet opened any gifts received in the mail-waiting for a moment where we can give them the attention they deserve. Yes, I finally opened the accumulated mail (only two days ago) and No, I don't have a Holiday Card yet. Maybe by Chinese New Year!

I am so thankful the many, many kindnesses and gifts that people have shared. I will personally thank you as soon as I am able, but for now, the group of you, my dear friends and supporters, please again accept my deepest thanks for all that has been given to us. We are so blessed by the miracle of friendship and family, and adoption. And now, I must go feed my family!!!

A Bumpy Re-entry

2010-12-13T01:30:00.001-05:00

We have now been home a little over 24 hours. It was great to see familiar faces of friends and family greeting us at the airport. Shanna loved them all and simply was radiant, smiling on everyone, even people we didn't know, but then, how would she know that?

When we pulled in the driveway, she said "OOOHHHH" in recognition and pointed out her and Megan's window and Mary Alice's. She knew the outside of house from the pictures I sent. She explored everything in detail and was particularly interested in the cats, and squealed with delight at their purring attention. We tried to get them showered and in bed quickly, which ended up to be about 10:30pm. Shanna was coughing quite a bit and at 12:30am I got up to help her. The cat jumped in bed with us and this sent her into squeals of laughter, which went on until I knew it would wake Megan, which of course it did, despite my shushing. Since Matthew was still up, as he couldn't sleep, he came in to see what was going on. He tried taking Shanna downstairs to play for a while but eventually all four of us ended up downstairs for a snack. At 3:30 am I put everyone back to bed and we slept until 10:30.

Although Shanna did not sneeze anything out of her nose in customs this trip (if you don't know this story, you can see this link from last trip), one bump was when Shanna fell down the escalator in Newark!! Somehow, everyone went ahead of me (in our rush to get to customs after the long flight (12.5 hours for those who wonder) and I was with the two girls. I held something in one hand and Shanna's hand in the other and Megan ran up to catch my hand with something in it. I fumbled, she hesitated, Shanna stepped on, and I followed, and Megan didn't. So somehow Shanna tumbled backwards (we were going up). I tried to catch her, while the escalator was rising, and she fell down more stairs. I have no idea how I righted her, but somehow I got her on her feet, and she was very shaken and crying. She had a small scrape on her ankle, but otherwise was okay physically. Emotionally, it took her a while to regain her confidence. Megan was stunned to see me disappear up the escalator, but there was nothing I could do but call for her and hope someone helped her on. Some nice man picked her up and carried her up to me. There were lots of people on the escalator as it was very crowded with everyone coming off the big plane, but everyone seemed frozen to their spot watching it unfold. That was very terrible but luckily wasn't worse.

Another bump was when we got home and discovered that our sump pump did not work and our basement flooded, soaking our rug and the various toys and shelves scattered about. Most things were in plastic bins and were spared, but some weren't. Eric spent today ripping up the carpet and trying to clean up the water. It is stinky and yucky and totally disruptive. We have laundry and luggage everywhere, and now toys that had a home are spread around in places I don't really want them. I did get out the gates again to contain curious children (we are now calling them the Squirrel Girls) and am thankful that I did not give them away earlier (the gates, not the Squirrels). :)

Our neighbors and close friends gave a small party for our friends and family to meet Shanna tonight and that was very fun and relaxing. Again, Shanna really enjoyed meeting everyone and sharing her smile.

We have her doctor appointment tomorrow, thank goodness, as I listen to her horrible coughing, and hopefully we will figure out how to help her feel better quickly.

Someone commented on my post about Oggi's and how it sounded like I was doing a commercial for them. Well, I kind of was!!! Many adoptive families are reading this blog and I described it in such detail so those traveling after us to Guangzhou could have an idea of where to go. There are a few other families with children with food allergy and this kind of sharing is so helpful to all of us. So "Go Oggi's!!"

Here are a few photos from the trip home.

Waiting to board in Beijing

Always laughing together.

Very blurry photo taken with my phone (not what the rest of the photos were taken with) and disappointing, before the big flight but kind of how we felt anyway, so okay. We had to recheck our check luggage (7 pieces) 3x, once in Guangzhou, again in Beijing, and again in Newark (after coming through customs). Very big pain with 5 carry ons and 4 backpacks. We were constantly counting everything. Including children.

Here is a video of the first few minutes of Shanna exploring the room. She did this all through the bathroom, kitchen, family room. You will get the idea....

And another short one.

Happy to be home.

The cake from our party. Thank you!!!!

and just because the story isn't honest unless I tell it all, just before we went to the party, Shanna gave Megan a little nip on the hand, probably because Megan was "helping" her in some way. Megan was very calm about it and told Daddy in a matter of fact, but not really blaming way. Because of the previous problem I had with the standoff promoted by my forcing an apology, I took a different tack and said (with signs) "Oh Shanna, Mommy is so sad that you bit Megan. You hurt her." and then I hugged Shanna while saying "Sorry, Megan, Shanna is sorry". And indeed she was, as her immediate tears attested. There was no pout or struggle though. After an appropriate hugging time, I just told her not to do that again and to get ready to go to the party. Tomorrow I will remind her to use her words.

Do I look tired or what??? Goodness.

The basement before we left.

And now.....

I can't add the smell, but I assure you, it's bad. And while I was taking these photos, my cat laid on my keyboard and opened about a hundred Google Help windows. I wonder what she was looking for??

Once again, I am the last one up. I doubt I will be able to sleep at all for worrying about Shanna coughing. I am pretty sure she is doing it in her sleep. I taught her how to call for me, by telling her to say "MOM-MMY" while I stand in various places in and out of the room and downstairs, then coming when she calls. I learned that from having Megan that the kids cared for in orphanages never call because they don't know they can, so they suffer in silence and I had found Megan crying silently a few times in her bed before I realized what was happening. I am not sure, but last night, when I went to check on Shanna because she was coughing, I think she might have been crying. Her face was a little wet. She might have been sweaty, but she did not smile when she looked at me, and her eyes were open. She was quiet and subdued (this was right before the gails of giggled that erupted when Jasmine jumped on the bed with us) but still I thought it would be best to teach her that I will come if she calls me, and she seemed happy to practice this skill.

Turns out I am not the last one up, as Mary Alice is too. I wonder how long before we get back to a normal sleep schedule. I am going to flip the laundry and try and sleep. Okay, now Shanna, Megan, Eric, Mary Alice and me are all up (at 1:11am.) I just spent 15 minutes giving Shanna a nebulizer treatment because her coughing was so bad. I could hear that same kind of cough as when Matthew and Mary Alice were little and were having trouble breathing. This seemed to help her a lot, as she is not coughing now. She DID NOT want it and tried to push it away, but finally, we distracted her with a book (thank goodness Eric helped) and she finished it. She really likes this Nursery Rhyme book we have and she enjoys singing along with it. Now I wonder how long it will be before I sleep tonight......

People are constantly expressing amazement about this blog and asking how I do this? No matter how tired I am, I make the time, because I think it is important. Why?

1. It helps me process all the events, like a journal.
2. I love to go back and read it- It helps me remember all the fine detail I would otherwise forget.
3. I love to share it with others. And I love hearing they enjoy it.
4. The kids love to look at it now, and in the future I can share it with the girls so they remember.
5. It's just fun.

and yes, I back it up!

Linda, who despite all the challenges, is ever so thankful for her family.

2010-12-11T20:11:00.001-05:00

Home!!!
Linda

Last Post from China, part 2

2010-12-10T16:03:00.000-05:00

Well, I am getting closer to home time, as I did not sleep much at all last night. I finished packing at 10:30, read a little bit, and for the first time in China had a difficult time falling asleep. Fall asleep, though, I did. Only to be awakened at 12:30AM by a very large thud and crying, heard right through those trusty earplugs!! Shanna had fallen right out of bed! The room was so dark and the space between the beds so small, that it took me a few beats to find the light and figure out what happened! She was still half asleep, but when we got her back on the bed she pointed to Megan (who was half asleep herself and no way involved). We shushed everyone and they quickly fell back asleep. Eric and I did not, and slept very lightly until our 4:15am wake up call. We are all dressed now, at 5am and ready to finish packing and go to breakfast. It is a good thing that she did not fall out of bed on the first day, or I would not have gotten a wink of sleep this whole trip as I was constantly checking the bed to be sure she was not on the edge!

Linda, who will be glad to sleep on the plane.

Last Post From China

2010-12-10T08:19:00.001-05:00

I can hardly believe it. The final 10 hours before we leave for the airport. I will be amazed if everything makes its way back into the suitcases. If only things would pack themselves. Here is a list of the things I am so glad I brought to China:

Eric, Marion & the kids. It was wonderful to have each one of them with us, and even though it was hard at times, having the whole family together was such a blessing and worth every penny.
The food. I brought granola bars, Nutrigrain Bars (for Matthew), Sunbutter, Oatmeal packs, Smarties, candy canes, Poptarts and tuna packets. I wish I had brought 2 boxes of Nutrigrains for Matthew and another box of oatmeal. We could have used it.
Paper plates, bowls, plastic forks and spoons. I wish I had thought to bring some napkins. We went through tons of tissues during our snacks and meals.
Small water bottles for the little girls to carry. It was just enough for the daily outings and to use with meals. They both drank lots of water.
Playdoh. This was a huge hit (as you can see from the photos below).
Two half empty packs of wipes. One for the backpack and one for the room.
Two laptops. I worried about carrying both, but it wasn't a problem and was a necessity!
A power strip. I know I could get this from the hotel, but it was just so easy to have my own.
3 cameras. It was great to get the photos from everyone's perspective.
Anti-biotics. Both trips we used at least three of the five z-packs we brought.
Band-aids. Good for soothing tender boo boos, even if you can't see them.
Nail polish. Good for sister bonding and nurturing. Plus, lots of compliments from other people.
Earplugs. Highly recommended for ultimate deep sleep, especially on the plane and sharing rooms.
Patience and a sense of humor. These were both very essential throughout the trip and if I had left them behind, who knows what would have happened.

This is a video from yesterday, when the girls were playing with the bubbles.

Here are some photos from Playdoh playtime.

Modeling the jewelry!

Gramma, what's this????

Rudolph, is that you??

This is the upside down 1000 piece puzzle.

This was something I was surprised to see.

We had to get a picture here. We ate at Oggi's everyday. They had great Italian food. If you are traveling to Guangzhou, and stay at the Garden, it is easily walkable.

We ate at the one in the Yuexiu District @ 1 Tianlun Garden, Jianshe 4 Road. They also have take out and delivery.

This is the bathroom in the health club on the 4th floor. It is so beautiful like this all over the hotel.

Megan makes friends everywhere. This is on the playground, also on the 4th floor, behind the pool.

This is our daily dinner routine. Typically, our breakfast was the buffet around 9am, our main meal was at Oggi's around 2pm and a light dinner for the girls in the room each night. Eric got the big kids and him and Marion fast food each night. That has not been the healthiest diet, so we are looking forward to eating some normal, non-fried foods!

And this is our Brown Envelope. It contains the immigration info for Shanna to enter the US when we land in Newark. We are supposed to hand it to the customs/immigration officer when we arrive. Grace told us that one family opened it and had to RETURN TO GUANGZHOU to have it resealed!!!!!
We will NOT open it.

I was a little nervous about the next step being hard on Shanna, but she seems very eager to get on with it. We have been using lots of sign language with her and after I had the girls in bed, when I explained what would happen the next day (wake up early, get dressed, eat and go on the airplane) she signed along with me and said "Fei gee" which means airplane. Then I told her that we would go to our house. I said would you come to my house to live with me? And she nodded and said "Thank You!!" which made me laugh and made me think she really understands. She loves that photo album of us and she looks at it all the time. Wait until she sees her home for real. That will be another photographic moment.

Well, I cannot delay the packing any longer. We will see you on the other side of the North Pole. Again, anyone in our hometown area is welcome to join us at the airport. We will be arriving at 8:30PM Saturday 12/11 on Continental/Colgan from Newark.

Linda, who is very glad to be on the way home!!

Chanukah, O Chanukah, Come Light the Menorah.

2010-12-09T05:17:00.000-05:00

Mary Alice made this travel menorah, featured in Family Fun magazine, so we would not miss out on lighting our Chanukah candles while in China. Shanna and Megan have really enjoyed singing the blessing and putting the toothpicks into the cardboard. It is corrugated on top, so the toothpicks stick right in. The flames are made of two color tissue paper and the blue paint is metallic. It's a great idea. Since we are an interfaith family, we also celebrate Christmas and are looking forward to putting up our tree with Shanna. Last night was the last night of Chanukah, so the menorah was fully "lit". Somehow, we managed not to loose any in this messy hotel room! We did not go into the detail of the Chanukah story, just enjoyed the fun..... save that for next year. :)

This morning the regular dining room was full again, so back up to the 30th floor we went. This time we were "upgraded" to our own dining room, which we found very comfortable!

Here is the view from further back.

This is the entrance to the Guangzhou Zoo. These are the Five Goats of the Asian Games. They are each made out of silk flowers and are really pretty up close.

Map of the Park.

Gramma Marion says that these flamingos need to eat more carrots so they will be pink. I think she should tell the zookeepers. :)

I can't believe they let these animals roam free throughout the zoo!

Matthew photographed this interesting flower.

Shanna really liked the elephants. Their enclosure is really spacious and nice. They have another pair that was in a grassy plain area behind the house and I am sure they switch them around.

This is a bamboo forest area.

Near the two cute pandas.

More cute pandas. Megan is still trying out different poses.

We learned that Shanna loves mushrooms, to eat and to draw.

This was a popular posing spot.

We did all combinations of siblings.

And then there was the Kangaroo pouch to sit inside.

And Gramma had to try it.

This kangaroo seemed a little bored.

Giraffes having lunch. Two babies. Very cute.

I would think his arms would fall asleep like that!

The Zebra family (mom, two babies, dad) taken by Matthew.

The Zebra family taken by Mary Alice.

There were hundreds of different kinds of birds at this zoo.

And at least five cats,

And an adorable rat, who was swimming along a bank and pulled himself up by these plants and scurried along his way.

Shanna holding Rong Rong's hand and our guide Grace in the background. I don't think I have said much about our guides before, so I will take a minute to tell you how Wonderful they both have been. We had Joanna help us the first 4 days with the adoption registry paperwork and then Grace took over last week for all the tours and the rest of the paperwork. They have both been very valuable to us in so many ways, especially talking to the children and figuring out what they like and need. Shanna is talking to her all of the time, now, in Mandarin and Grace says she knows many things and asks many questions. She seems to warm up quickly to people, although she can be shy at first.

I just love these poses. How did she learn so many?

Here is a sweet picture of Rong Rong. She really likes to walk by herself and she loves monkeys.

This one speaks for itself.

I am sure you are all wondering if the tooth fairy visited China and the answer is YES. Shanna received four shiny Yuan coins under her pillow this morning and her eyes glowed with happiness. We spent some time kicking around Megan's soccer ball outside on the 4th floor near the pool/fitness area, where they have a very nice deck area. We also used a battery operated bubble machine that Gramma bought Shanna at the zoo. We did not realize it made gun noises, and had to "modify" it with tape to be softer sounding. Shanna loves it and is running around saying "pow" to everyone. The 1000 piece puzzle that we bought yesterday was finished by the evening (yesterday) apparently much by Matthew. Today they are re-doing it, upside down. Yes, it has been a long trip.

Tomorrow will be our last full day in China. We do not have any tour plans so we will sleep in, go to the buffet, then tidy up the rooms. We will receive Shanna's passport at 12:15 from our guide. After that I think we will head to Subway and walk to a nearby park for a picnic lunch. I hope the day doesn't drag.

The weather has been absolutely amazing, although in the mornings it is a little chilly and we are glad to have sweatshirts. I actually needed two layers over my t-shirt today.

Today I am typing this at 6pm China time, so I actually have a chance to relax before bed. I am not going to be available to Skype with anyone tomorrow night as we will need to get to bed early in order to wake up in time for our ride to the airport. We have to be downstairs when the buffet opens at 6:30am and then in the lobby ready to leave by 6:45. Grace is worried that we will be late because we always have someone in the bathroom at the last minute. I will have to be up by 4:30 to get everything and everyone ready on time. Don't worry, Mom, we have an alarm clock AND I will request a wake up call!! I will NOT miss that flight. We are watching several families leave today (their consulate appointments were a day or two earlier than ours) and it makes us really want to come home. It has been a wonderful trip, but we are ready to come back home.

Does the Tooth Fairy come to China?

2010-12-08T09:08:00.001-05:00

We had a very eventful day. We slept in a little, as we did not have any tour arranged today, just needed to be in our rooms in the morning while our consulate papers were being processed, in case there were any questions. So we got to the breakfast buffet a little later than usual. We were told that there were no more tables available so we should go to the 30th floor and there is another buffet there. Well, who knew!??? So we headed up there. The view was magnificent.

See the pool in the corner on the right side? It's on the fourth floor. The small round one is the kiddie pool.

The building on the right is the one I posted pictures of before, with the scaffolding all around. Our guide told us that "they" ran out of money and had to stop working on it. I don't know who They are or when They ran out, but it must have been a while ago.

This is a squid-kabob......Gramma ate it for breakfast and shared with Shanna, both seemed to like it. Eww.

After breakfast we took a walk to Trust-mart, sort of like a Wal-mart, but compressed, where you can find everything you need under one roof.

I was quite fascinated by the refrigerator display. They were thin and tall and quite organized inside. I liked this "deluxe" model, with the three doors. I am not sure any of them were freezer compartments.....

I also really liked these little baskets. Shanna pulled it all throughout the store. We found See Yang Yang DVDs and Eric bought four of them for Shanna!! And a puzzle, and pencils. We bought Megan a small red soccer ball that she really likes. We bought Matthew and Mary Alice a 1000 piece puzzle to keep them busy in their room.

They have these flowers growing on all the bridges in Guangzhou. It is some kind of shrub and it comes in pink and purple. Very pretty.

After a short rest and a snack in the room, we went to the American Consulate, where we had to swear that everything we put in our immigration application for the children was true. We had a group swearing in for 33 children, then we signed our DS230 papers and were done. It was very busy in the room, with children of all ages crying, laughing, playing and running around, and a lot of parents looking proud, dazed, exhausted and happy.

Shanna brought that yellow dress with her from the orphanage, a gift from her nanny and she was so proud to wear it. We decided that we would change her into the dress at the last minute and when she came out wearing it, Megan practically knocked her over rushing back into the room to change into a dress, too.

More interesting building on the way back to the hotel.

When we got back from the consulate, Shanna had to use the bathroom and I was hurrying to help her with her dress, and I caught my finger in the glass door in the bathroom! It hurt like CRAZY and reduced me to tears immediately. I felt faint from the pain and it took at least 10 mins before I could even stand it. Shanna was so sweet and kept saying Mama, Sorry, Mama ai ni (love you) and Megan got me tissues, Eric got me ice, Mary Alice held my hand. What a wonderful attentive group. But OMG did it hurt. I took some Tylenol and after a few hours it stopped. I am glad to say it is not broken.

After the consulate appointment, we were invited to a birthday party. Another family in our hotel adopted a little girl who turned 3 today and they invited us all to their room for a party.

It was neat to see the kids and families all interacting together. Lots of parallel play, too.

The birthday girl is on the left, in her mom's arms. She is very tired (no nap today because of the schedule) and a little overwhelmed by all the commotion. We all have felt that way at one point on this trip!

Shanna really liked this Pixter toy that Lily had. Right after we ate the pizza and the cake, Shanna came to me and told me her tooth hurt again. She had been telling me this frequently, and I knew it was very loose but tonight it was on its last thread, so I got a tissue and pulled it out. She was very happy and the new one was already out quite a bit. Megan showed her how to put it under her pillow and we hope the tooth fairy remembers to visit her in China.

They had a beautiful view of the skyline from their room. Eric pointed out how the sun is reflecting off the building in the back on the mid right of the picture.

Yesterday, we received an overnight package from the orphanage with 2 silver bracelets and a clear bracelet that the nanny forgot to bring on the day we met Shanna. She was wearing them on the day she was found. I am so glad we have them to give her when she is older. I showed them to her and she recognized them and tried to put them on, but they were way too small.

Later on, I looked through the bag of gifts that the nanny had given me on that first day. I found 4 small dvds with photos on them and loaded them onto my computer. This is what I found:

This is a picture of sweet Shanna, the day she was found. See the bracelets she is wearing?

This is a picture of her two weeks later.

This is Shanna with Karen, the Believe in Me Shantou School Coordinator, who advocated for Shanna to be adopted.

This is about 6 months after she entered Shantou.

This is Shanna with her foster mom and foster sister Xiang.

In this picture, Shanna seems to be growing quickly, as she is very thin compared to before. Her thyroid condition was diagnosed and medication seemed to be very effective.

This photo is more recent, as she is wearing the dress I sent her in June. The girl on the left is Emily, adopted to US in September, the girl on the right is Ji Ying, soon to be Gianna-waiting for her family to come and bring her to the US.

I love this picture.

This is a picture of the cake that I sent Shanna the week before we came for her. She calls this woman in the picture "Mommy", and I think she is the head nanny/caretaker for Shanna. The red dot on her forehead is for good luck. And yes, I think the nannies have put makeup on her face for the special occasion.

I believe she is making a wish. I wonder what it is???

I have to say she is very happy looking.
Brycie, do you see Ji Ying enjoying the party??

This is the whole group. I am sooo glad that they all got to celebrate. I sent the party as a gift from Shanna to her friends and nannies to say thank you for the care and friendship. It looks like they all enjoyed it.

I am NOT the last one up tonight. Eric is with me, we are using back to back laptops and he is clearing off all of his emails. I better hurry though, he just shut his computer down and if I am not quick, he will beat me to bed. Tomorrow we are going to the Guangzhou zoo, so that should be very fun and interesting.

I forgot to write that I started Megan on antibiotics for her cough a few days ago and she is doing MUCH better, now. Today I started Shanna on one too, because her nose has been so congested. I am hoping that she will feel better soon, too. I have a feeling that she has had a sinus infection for a long time and she is not a great nose blower.

One last note, dear family, I am sorry I have not been a better Skyper. It is so hard with the time difference and being out each morning and putting the girls to bed each evening. I am thinking of you all though and hoping that you understand. I do check to see if you are online, but I can really only call/answer one person each day, and that's it.

2010-12-07T09:11:00.000-05:00

Yes, we are getting antsy to get home and to some kind of normal routine. I made the countdown chain today and before we go to sleep we will only have four links left, which includes Saturday, the day we start home.

Today we went to the Buddhist Six Banyan Temple. This building is at least 600 years old (the whole Temple is about 2000 years old) and at that time was the highest building in Guangzhou.

There was lots of Bonzai gardens that were very beautiful.

There were lots of Buddhas and they stand for different things, health, fertility, knowledge, success in your job, good family relationships, and so on. There was a building just dedicated to blessing the spirits of loved ones. People buy a card, which looks like a bookmark with a ribbon and they pay the monks approximately $8000 yuan a year (about $1150) to add a photo of the loved one to the bookmark and hang it in the room and say a prayer for the person's spirit every day. Matthew quickly did a calculation which included the number of bookmarks in each row, times the number of rows, times the number of frames on each wall, times the number of walls and determined that the building generates approximately $10 million each year for the temple. We are a little incredulous about this, however, he insists that his math is correct. :)

These are ceramic bamboo in a window.

These enormous Buddhas have 10 tons of copper for each cast. They are very, very large!

Megan is in love with baby Nathan and "helped" his parents push him around.

This is the monk who named the Six Banyans.

The temple has had a long and complicated history. At one point in the past, the government ordered all the Buddhas to be destroyed. Rather than destroy them, the people decided to bury the Buddhas (even the 10 ton ones!) and then later reconstruct them. This plaque has the names of the people that donated money to restore the temple. This is only a small section, it is much, much bigger than this.

Another view of the pagoda.

And another view of Megan, the mother hen, and her chick, who seems to adore her back.

Shanna & Mike

Our agency group, minus one family who didn't go to the temple.

Nelson, Suzette & Nathan

Back at the hotel, they are preparing for another wedding. Can you see the photo of the couple on the tablecloth? It's actually an 8 foot sign that will be stood up!

This is the restuarant that we did not eat in tonight. Eric was trying to be ambitious, and experience some more cultural food, and we even had some tea, but once he discussed the menu with the waiter and the manager, we found that they cooked with lots of peanut oil, so nothing would really be safe for Matthew. So we left, and found another italian place down the street and had more pizza. We have had so much pizza this trip. My stomach can't have much more.... but at least it is safe for Matthew and that is the most important thing.

We had some tears today. Shanna was very disappointed when she wanted to watch her favorite show "She Yang Yang" (which means Happy Goat) on TV. When Gramma couldn't find it on, she got very upset and started to pout. Gramma brought her back to our room and when she all out cried, I held her. I knew that it was on the surface the TV show, but underneath it was the loss of all familiar comforts. Eric brought me some pillows for support (she is VERY heavy) and a stool for my legs and it took about 40 mins of crying before she settled down. Later, she had another melt down when Eric stopped her from putting cream on some pieces of paper. She is very strong and really struggled to get away. She was really upset and crying loudly. Finally, Eric carried her to the bed, and again, I held her. Megan got her a wash cloth and Mary Alice held her hand and Daddy held her toes. We all looked at her with love and she finally calmed down and accepted our comfort. Then she was fine for the rest of the evening. Although it is upsetting to watch her go through I am very glad to see these kinds of reactions. It just isn't normal for anyone to laugh all the time and not feel unhappy. She needs to allow some of her feelings of fear, anger and loss of control to come to the surface. If she only feels that she can show her happy feelings, it will not be a healthy adjustment. It is much better for Shanna to know that we accept and understand all of her feelings, good or bad. She just LOVES the letters that I sent to her, with the pictures and stories of our family. It makes me so glad that I sent them and she had them all these months to look at.

She has seen this photo of her bedroom with the quilts on my computer and she giggles each time she sees it. We have an explosion of language today, too. Shanna is saying all kinds of things, and surprising me! When we left for the tour she said "Let's Go!" over and over. She picked up Megan's sweater and said "Megan Groat!" I said "Megan Groat????" and she said "yes, Megan Groat". Now, she automatically answers "no" questions in English. She seems to be understanding a lot of what we say to her. She is really catching on quickly. She has a loose tooth and I think it is bothering her. She signed hurt to me and pointed to her tooth. It's really in bad shape, as is the same one on the other side, so I hope they both fall out soon.

Shopping on Xia Jiu Lu Shopping Street

2010-12-06T07:53:00.000-05:00

Last night, Mary Alice did nail polish. Even toes! Shanna was thrilled and walked around holding her hands up for an hour afterwards, not touching anything, even though we showed her they were dry! She clearly had experience with this and it was definitely a special treat.

These are the roses that were in our room when we arrived. They are so lovely.

Grandma and her two darlings.

Shanna took this picture.

We have met some really nice families on our trip. These people are all with our agency, so we are together often, now. They joined us from different provinces. This little boy is so cute. He smiles and watches everything. He is just a year old.

The little girl that Megan is with is adorable. She can only see light and shadow but she is amazing at getting around and communicating. Megan ADORES her. They came to visit us in our room this afternoon and played together, then we went to the climber together. The video is Megan singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game", with a few missing words. :)

She inspired Megan to go up and down the slide a hundred times!

Grace and Baba. She tucks her head a lot to avoid the light, but she is very comfortable and content.

Today was shopping day and we went to the shopping market street. This is a four story pearl & gem market.

Store after store of gems and stones. It's overwhelming.

These are bead animals.

This is the jade market. Stall after stall of jade. What on earth do all these people do with so much jade? We didn't buy anything, as the prices were high, even the best price. Although everything was very beautiful.

Here is a view of the alley where the jade market was. Each opening is a store filled with jade beads and jewelry.

And for some reason there was incense everywhere. It was very crowded, too.

This is a giant McDonald's in the square.

The thing on the right is fried tentacles on a stick. Otherwise known as squid-kabobs or squid-sicles.

More choices.

More housing.

A shopper.

Riding in style.

This is a staircase in our hotel. Megan sure is learning lots of poses from these Chinese women.

This tree went up in the hotel lobby yesterday. It is sooooo tall!!

Mary Alice thought this looked like someone we know? Any guesses?? Hint: it's not Minister Tim!!

Christmas fashions......

See us at the bottom of the building?

See the tiny dots at the top?

They are cleaning the outside of the building--- not even washing the windows!! Can you say airsick???

A view of our hotel.

This building has scaffolding all around it. All the way up to the top.

Things are going very well for us. We returned to the medical clinic today to get the TB tests read and all the children in our group were negative, thank goodness. Now, the next step is to wait for our consulate appointment on Wednesday, and then receive Shanna's visa in the afternoon. Then we have to wait about 48 hours before we can leave the country, which means we cannot fly out until Saturday morning. For anyone who likes to plan ahead, you are invited and welcome to join us for a homecoming at the airport. We are due to arrive from Newark at 8:30pm. I am not going to say which airport, (for security-since this is an open blog) and I assume most people will know if this is local for them or not. If for some reason you are confused, please email me. Our friends, Kathy & Jeff will bring us our minivan so we can bring our family back home.

Shanna is learning new words every day. She repeats things willingly and uses the signs we are teaching her. Today she learned banana, more please and cracker! She can count in English up to 10, but she forgets 6 for some reason. It's better than I can do in Chinese. I can only get up to 3.

We are all hanging in there. Eating out twice a day is tough for me, but everyone else seems to be doing ok. We are sticking with McDonalds, Subway, KFC (which I don't like) and a place that we found called Oggi's. It's an Italian food restuarant which has lots of good choices and good service. They have a really good pizza and an avocado chicken salad. Plus they are completely peanut free. A very important factor.

I really miss my cats and am starting to long for home. I am grateful, however, that I don't have to cook or clean for a while longer.

Visit to the Yun Tai Garden

2010-12-05T04:48:00.000-05:00

Today we went to another park. This was a spectacular botanical garden. We did not see any dancing or music, but since is was Sunday there were many families with their children.

Shanna talks often about this Chinese cartoon character. I guess it is very popular. Something like She Yang Yang. Meaning Happy Goat. It has a theme song that can drive you crazy.

These trees were awesome.

This boy was so cute. He handed us his camera and wanted us to take pictures with Matthew.

I think these are the boy's grandparents. They were very interested in us and wanted us to take their picture, too.

I am not sure who she is, but she wanted her picture taken, too.

This is a cute picture. These leaves look like they are painted with dark green stripes.

Matthew is taking pictures of each beautiful flower. They are all so lovely. These are all orchids.

These are all orchids. Mom, can you believe how lovely???

Here they are all growing on the wall.

Look at these cool leaves.

Some hills in the distance.

There was a whole display of totems, maybe replicas from the original people who first lived in the area.

Wait, is this a native??

Cactus graffiti.

This is a very tiny butterfly. When it flies it shows its blue inside wings, then when it lands it can hardly be seen. It took Matthew many tries to photograph it because it was so fast.

These were huge climbing rocks with ancient drawings carved in the sides.

Megan doing yoga on the rocks.

Pretty rose garden.

Matthew is always checking out the micro environment.

This was a beautiful area to sit, and many families were taking pictures here and all over the park.

Happy Girl.

View from across the lake.

Working Flower Clock.

Notice the doves with the olive branch.

More bi-colored leaves.

Dutch shoes or new beds?

Cindy M. and Michele B, I took the next three pictures for you. I thought you would appreciate them. These are either hands or eyes.

And this is more doves with olive branches.

Dory & Nemo!!

These were so pretty. It's hard to see them but they were the brightest yellow and pink colors!

In the pool, later, the girls had a good time. It was very hot at the garden, but the pool is on the 4th floor outside and somewhat secluded from the sun. The water does not seem to heat up and the air is not hot, just comfortable. There was no one else in the huge pool area, just us, so we had about 3 people waiting on us. The Chinese people are so attentive to our needs, they hover in the background and the minute someone has a hint of a question on their face, someone is right there to anticipate what they want and provide it. I could get used to that!!!

At first, Shanna was hesitant to even put her feet in the water, but she got brave enough to go to the fourth level and stand in the deepest part of the pool. After the pool we went into the locker room and I gave the girls showers. The locker room was Exquisite! The shower stalls each were marble and had a hand held gentle shower spray so that I could be in there too, without getting wet, and the shampoo, conditioner and shower gel were in holders built into the wall. The towels were right there and thick cushy bathmats outside each stall. It was so lovely, words cannot express. This is an amazing hotel.

Now we are giggling in the room. We developed a camera that Shanna had (I had sent it to her in a care package) and Mary Alice put the photos into Shanna's album and Shanna wants me to look at them with her. She is saying many more words today, and using signs. She is also showing a little more stubborness and we even had to use time out, to which she responded well. That is all good, as it shows that she is beginning to be more comfortable to be herself with us.

Shanna's language is definitely delayed, even in Chinese, and our guide told us that she spoke with the orphanage again today and they said it often takes her several times to hear something before she can grasp its meaning. I think she is learning everyday, and she will be fine, but she is overall more like a 5-6 year old than a 9. I am sure it is due to her early experiences and medical history. I know the staff at our elementary school will know just how to help us set up the best educational program for her. They have done wonders with Megan!! Look how far she has come in such a short time.

Have to go, she needs me! :)